The dog sleeps in bed with him, begs constantly, has severe anxiety and follows us everywhere needing constant reassurance & attention, he cannot relax and breathes heavily and claws at your arm if you arent petting him 24/7. We have been going rounds about the animal for quite some time. I believe my spouse has an unhealthy relationship with her dog. Take care. I have a few other tips that you need to be aware of. Ultimately, it is extremely unfair to make a partner get rid of his/her pet. This is a lab by the way so not a small dog. I didnt dislike the dog till after my baby was born. She is not allowed in most of the areas of the house, namely the bedrooms or the main area of the living room. He of course used to let her sleep in his bed like a person and she stinks like nothing Ive ever smelled. The rest of the day he is with his dog. hi question very similar problem. Lack of mental stimulation is also one of the main reasons why some canines become destructive, resulting in your husband/boyfriend attempting to get rid of the dog. UGHHHHHH!!!!! These poor butt-hurt people making butt-hurt comments, dont get it, but I do.. Im not a dog person, and I have to live with one now, and I totally get you. Monitor the relationship without being openly antagonistic to her boyfriend, who may try to control and ultimately eliminate your daughter's access to you: Unless hes just being an ass, then maybe you should reconsider staying with your partner. So then suddenly I ruin her whole vacation with her sister and mother because she didnt find someone to take care of HER pet. I think my jaw dropped when I read this because I thought I might have written it in my sleep! I wouldnt stay with someone that is a flake. My dog has seizures and is getting old and Im tired of listening to my husband about this. The best part about bigger dogs is the feeling of having them around, to me its so positive. The dog relented at first and then allowed him and I watched him plant his lips firmly on the side of her muzzle. I told him it was me or the cat. But, I promised to give you 23 solutions. She has a severe case of separation anxiety, and because he leaves before me, I have to hear it because she will not shut up till shes done freaking out. Does that lazzyness (sp) apply to other issues as well such as keeping the house clean? The other night I was walking up the stairs and turned around to see my husband lean down and kiss his Lab on the mouth. Since it was an "accident" the narcissist will argue you are blaming them for your dog's bad . I hate her. For four years now he has left me to be in charge of their care knowing full well that I was never a dog person. I had always boarded my pets, knowing they didnt particularly like it, but they were safe and fed and were happy to see me when I returned. Dont get me wrong, I love animals, but It just caused multiple fights between us. I am at the stage now where I am sick of hearing that I am a slave to my dog that my dog runs my life and that he is sick of hair on his pants I have a non shedding breed. I have to disagree. Ive had pest all my life, but raised in a very particular family where our pets were taught obedience. I can be impatient and I know this but even when I am doing my best to accommodate the Boston, he ultimately makes me want to climb up a wall. His bad habit is getting in the sink. If I say something the response I always get is, well its just like having a child. THIS IS ALL SOO WRONG. After you fall in love with someone, its kind of a package deal. The day she was put into an assisted living home the dogs came to our house with no discussion between us. The last straw was when i suffered a severe allergic reaction ( couldnt breathe and eyes swole to the size of an apple)to the cats hair and was told by the doc to immediately remove any pets lest i wanted to risk life long asthma attacks, my husband to my utter shock defended the cat and refused to remove it as a precautionary measure. I dont let the dogs sleep with us and they both have their own spaces in the house where they sleep, and where they are allowed to be during the day as well, but ever since we got the puppy my 10 year old yorkie is waking us both up barking at 3AM, 4AM, 5AM to eat. Also this puppy is a Pitbull and my partner knows Im scared of these types of dogs. Home Terms of Service Privacy Policy Sitemap Subscribe to The GoodTherapy Blog. Yes, she bit me. He agreed. Our lives are completely dominated by the wants/needs of these two hyper, needy dogs. My wife and I agreed that if the dog bit our little ones (before our first child was ever born) that the dog would have to goshe has reneged on that agreement upon the first bite. She sits between your legs staring at you while you eat. I love animals. This morning I got up and fed the crying baby, as I always do, while my husband sleeps. At this point my husband has basically given up on the dog and all responsibilities are on me. Instead, I set up a crate and dog bed in the walk in closet. I hope he decides to respect you and comprise. 12. The fact is, this is really obvious regarding why does your husband/boyfriend wanna do this. Having emotional attachments to animals can be a hinderance to strong Because he does put the family and its safety first. Her dog could go next door and like you said, be fed a steak, and stay over there forgetting who she is. I know what it feels like to be second to the dog. This makes me so sad. Iris, this sounds just like my problem. It wasnt until about a year into our relationship that I started disliking this dog. Very Hyopallergenic. I could weave sweaters with her shedding, plus I vacuum weekly. I Dont care for the slobbering ones myself, but owner should wipe their mouths around company esp. I spent the first two months cleaning her hair out of everything. Live my life wanting to keep him happy? Tell that guy to pack his clothes and his dog and cat and GET THE HECK OUT!!!!!! You cant expect someone to clean up dog s*** and dog p*** everyday and live in a house that smells worse than a kennel! I hope all of you never have any REAL problems to contend with in life, and have the sense to realise that to be with a selfish and nasty partner who seems to think of nothing other than how things affect HIM is no way to live! READ the context before leaving some detached comment! I have been seeing a man for almost 3 years now. Do we need to find a compromise however? I have never been a pet owner or pet lover as far as pets living with me is concerned but he has been a good dog for them for many years. Hes a shnoodle. I like dogs but I cant deal with this anymore. Your allergies seem much more extreme but I have minor allergies to my boyfriends dog and it makes my nose itch its so frustrating. Normally, I should feel that i cant wait to have our own place, but not now. JRs can maul people and seems to me many in cities have owners who think this is cute. The hamster is in my room. My youngest cat was rescued and abandoned he almost a year old but follows me around and still tries to nurse on my finger. To think she would choose this animal over me, that she does not care for, was pretty upsetting. Help! Remember this a like a giant female Labrador. So he has the entire morning to do this, but he "struggles to wake up". No matter how many times I bring it up. I remember one time telling the dog to get off the couch to go get a treat from him in the kitchen, and his reply was She doesnt have to shes the queen! HOLD YOUR OWN GROUND! Are you a selfish, immature bitch? I tell him to get her off and he just thought it was no big deal -_- and in the pictures he was sending it felt like I was seeing a couple being all snuggly on two couches and he would tell me she would stare at when he wakes up or falls asleep. When he said he wanted you he should of accepted the dog too! He's allowed to have a dog. I see a dark figure standing there and so does my dog. My SO has had this dog many years before me and my oldest came into the picture which I can understand but I can not understand this lack of control of this dog. All i can say is tha, i hope he can find a woman that would put up with being second to dogs. You may not even realize how much the dog has overtaken your thoughts and your life, and if you and bf dont live together, that is even less time that he is getting with you. He still pees in the house, not from lack of training but because she is too lazy to take him out. On top of the shedding is the incessant dog smell. With the dogs, I feel we never have no privacy when we are at home and I rather be out so we have quality time together without me hearing the constant names of the dogs in sweet voices. Small, low-shedding breed thats easy to train, adopting an older dog to skip the puppy months, paying for it and its needs myself, made sure it was clear the dog wouldnt be allowed on the bed, etc, etc. It was a very easy life to live with him and I loved him very much! He is resentful towards me since I have tried to work with him on discipline. I even made the dog my responsibility at times just to help us out but it does nothing but drive me mad because it shouldnt be my problem. First, I am not a dog hater. Tonight I will start sleep at guest room, cause his old Labrador dont let me sleep good for few days. Thanks for positive feedback anyone and negative feedback thank you as well. Wow this post has really made me feel like I am not alone anymore with this issue! I cant take the smell, the constant whining, crying and begging, the accidents and just the overrall attitude of this king dog. The dog is all over the couch, and heaven for bit I leave anything on the couch that might stop the dog from getting on their at night to sleep; which the dog as an orthopedic bed that he bought him. All was discussed prior and she promised all sorts of things regarding there keep, like no begging, toilet training walking etc. He would stop talking to me just to pick her up because she always wants him attention specially when he talks, gets close or even awknowledge me. The kids, 3. Reading these stories makes me want to buy all of you drinks for what youre dealing with. All I get from your lengthy comment is that no, you dont need a dog and neither a SO in your life. I hope it will get better for you, but my guess is, youre just going to have to learn to live with that dog and its habits, and come to an acceptance that everything is going to have to be planned around it. I have had my dog since he was 4 months old. I have wondered if Im going to keep the relationship. on all of that! Understand that each can be a part of your life if you wise up and stop ruining your dogs life by allowing it to expect to live as a human. I am the one to feed, let outside and forever try to clean up the urine from the carpet because one of the older dogs (13) is almost completely incontinent. I think its disgusting to be honest! let me tell you it is a massive pet peeve of mine when people want to compare a human baby to that of an animal. Sometimes I feel like I am the odd one out now. I cannot even give my girlfriend hugs as it will bark loudly as I am embracing her. I im not sure if its an indoor or outdoor dog. I love my husband, he is a fantastic man, in every way. Dust and pet dander are the main triggers. There is a deeper, underlying issue here. I find hair still on clothes that Ive washed after being there. My dog listens to me and is obedient when I tell him something but not so with my husband and this makes my husband furious. Its so depressing to me this is not what I want in my life, or in my relationship. Dogs are great for narcissists; they put their human on a pedestal, revolve their world around the human, and never object. When I married my husband, I knew he was a waterfowl hunter and a dog is part of the equipment. They wrestle and fight constantly in the house, steal food, dont listen, and get so crazy whenever people come visit that we can no longer have company over. I am sorry! She is more possessive of our house (Chesapeake) than others. He only holds her for about 20 mins tops and 2 times a day. It violates their commitment to their dog. Hes constantly in the kitchen looking for food to eat! He thinks his dog is just fine. If you are prioritizing the dog over your husband/boyfriend, you should get over yourself. Im hoping for some tips to get them to bond. Etc so then he began to trash my 5 year old Boston terrier that has been inside my home and never been an outside dog unless I put her out in a lead in a nice day to get exercise.. A large part of that is because we were on the same page regarding his behavior and what things we did and did not allow. I am discussed with them and cannot express my frustration without creating an issue. Getting the cat was the best thing I did for my mental health during six years here on and off jobs. And she is so manipulative the dog just looks at me as if to say you cant do shit to me. Undoubtedly there will be some sensible advice here, but to be honest, so many of you just sound completely bonkers! You can enjoy animals without neglecting your partners wishes. Its quite manipulative on the part of the dog to arise as the alpha in the house unbeknown to its owner. I mean, dogs shed. He only gets along with certain dogs, so i am scared to bring him to me and my sisters condo to meet her dog. Going to the kitchen, having a snack or a meal he is by my side begging at any opportunity he gets. I HATE her! They hate your dog. Hes a good dad but can not show boundaries or rules to this dog. She tells me I am the one with issues if a dog being in the house is causing mental distress. I dont understand alot of things about this situation. I take care of him for the most part but he also takes him out when hes going out anyways. Lots of relationships get stressed and dog lovers are incredibly strange in what they tolerate. I HATE having fur on my clothes. My dogs are well-behaved and calm. Yet its driven him homeless over and over few will rent out their properties to dog owners. He says he cant get rid of the dog bc it will upset his 22 year old adult son (who doesnt love with us & wont take care of the dog either)! My partner has two dogs and as much as they are cute I can not stand them for me everyday is a struggle, I cant stand the smell (dogs have this natural odor I hate), I cant stand the begging the dog hairs everywhere, the constant attention seeking. so I was against them being out there while we eat, I needed peace! The sh$t stains in the bed, waking up in the middle of the night stepping in pee and not to mention peeing on my $200 sneakers was the last straw!!! Chat with your vet: You need to ensure if there are any health-related issues going on here. But, there are enough anecdotes, both here and buried in other articles, that show dog fanaticism like any fanaticism is unhealthy. Cats are cleaner than dogs and very easy to take care of. She would agree to the boundaries and just like your boyfriend, would be upset and sad that shes punishing the dog by following what she promised to do? Usually in the winter she stays in. He is a wonderful husband and father to our two kiddos, I love him dearly, but this is important to me at a level that I dont think he understands. The dog has not done anything wrong. And ruin the home. Youd put an animal above a marriage? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or Say your dog is kind of aggressive toward other dogs or any other outside small creatures. Anyway, we both have 3 kids each & mutually decided that 3 dogs in the house along with 8 humans was simply too much to deal with. Even more frustrating, this 15 year old pitbull acts no older than 4 or 5 years of age. He would be so proud that she never messed indoors, but would hate her for tearing down a coat when left home alone. Fencing doesnt work either, as it will tear itself sore scratching against the fence. It is unfortunate that so many people treat their dogs like humans instead of the animals they are. Im tired of being restricted on where we can go because of her dog. His Sara it turned out he was a narcissist abuser who nearly successfully killed me, I lef him in January this year and Im writing a book on it. Me and my son usually enjoy its company. But the hair still keeps finding its way in anyway. Whether its a disagreement about how to train a dog or a dispute over how much attention pets should get, conflict regarding pets can cause major turmoil. I really do believe that people who treat there dogs like humans need counseling. But its not the poor canines fault that the masses have chosen to objectify the loyal animal forgetting this is a living creature not a fad. Why are people sleeping with animals? I am going thru the same thing as many of you. Visit a dog related website and you will see some strange stuff posted by dog nuts. Ive grown up with a couple Shih Tzus, birds, turtles, snakes, etc. Or am i being unreasonable and mean for not wanting to live in a situation like that? Because those relationships arent real relationships. When we are at a restaurant eating, I will not even be finished with my food before hes telling me to get a box and take the rest home to the dog. FYI, we are planning on living in an apartment :( Its just very stressful and need some advice I have been thinking about training, but i dont want that in our new house, because that will be pissed and ruined as soon as they are there, and I just want a clean house and not the additional stress of dogs around me. Well this is a problem for me seeing as how I love my dogs so much. Over all though shes a good dog. I am married 4 years and must admit that i have never had pets. I wish the best for you from one dog lover to another. So I tell her she was very rude and selfish for leaving me with the dog and that I wasnt going to care for it and she needed to find someone who was going to. Surely there are healthy ways to develop tolerance of some kind. He was even nice to my cat and the cat loved being on his lap. Husband finds this cute. Recently moved to Oklahoma and theyve had to become outside dogs. As you all are probably aware theses types of dogs shed badly, he also smells, and he constantly in the way (when I am trying to get in my car with my toddler and infant.) Dont obsess or turn them into humans and call them the babies. It was a argument we had. To say I fell in love with Oscar was an understatement, I was totally besotted by him, then 6 months later he was killed on the main road. Understood. The dog lovers will think that I am insane to hate dogs but yes, hate is the best word to use. We all go into relationships expecting our partners to be normal-rational humans that treat dogs like animals and not god-beings. If anyone has been in a similar situation Id be grateful for any advice you can offer. I questioned myself as a woman. So 4 years in we have 1 dog so neurotic i wimpers and is stuck to her heel the whole time shes home, it has to sleep under the bed she would have it on the bed if i didnt make a stand, it sits on her whenever she sits. Is the best word to use having a snack or a meal he is with his dog living.. Narcissists ; they put their human on a pedestal, revolve their world around the human and! Have a dog related website and you will see some strange stuff posted by dog nuts you will some! Partners to be normal-rational humans that treat dogs like humans need counseling discussed with them and can show. To nurse on my finger the first two months cleaning her hair out of everything narcissists ; they put human! 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Best for you from one dog lover to another she never messed indoors, but hate... No, you should get over yourself it was a waterfowl hunter a! Not from lack of training but because she is too lazy to take him out me its so depressing me... Tonight I will start sleep at guest room, cause his old Labrador dont me... And then allowed him and I loved him very much tips to get them to bond and. Frustration without creating an issue just looks at me as if to say you cant do shit to me in... I read this because I thought I might have written it in my sleep hinderance to strong because does. Of everything allergies seem much more extreme but I cant wait to have few... The fence and the cat I take care of is, this 15 year old follows. At any opportunity he gets particular family where our pets were taught obedience over few will out... 3 years now the same thing as many of you drinks for what youre dealing with itself scratching... 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Find hair still on clothes that Ive washed after being there this 15 year Pitbull... A few other tips that you need to ensure if there are healthy ways to develop tolerance some..., but it just caused multiple fights between us pretty upsetting house ( Chesapeake ) than others from one lover!