It would be best for visitors to wait until the baby is at least two months old.. There are no hard and fast rules about whether and when to let people touch or hold your newborn, saysAmina Ahmed, MD, professor of pediatric infectious diseases and immunology at Atrium Health Levine Children's Hospital. Is it no wonder that everyone is breaking down your proverbial door to snag a sec to snuggle with that delicious baby? Youre not being unreasonable at all. should not be construed as a substitute for advice from a medical professional or health care provider. No, my brother in law did most of the talking. Being 3 months old, your baby will very soon become more active and easier to play with. Seeing other people hold her, even the people I loved most, made me feel like a part of me was missing. for the content of external websites. I could not wait to introduce my tiny little human to everyone in my life. The length of time for visits will most likely be limited by the needs of the baby, says Dr. Alexander. For one thing, their partners are more likely to help out. Design: Ashley Britton/SheKnows. But before you extend an invitation, you should try to hold off at least a month or more. It often appears in young babies and toddlers "between 10 and 18 months" of age, though it can also start "as early as six months old." An image showing an adult holding a baby. At the same time, we need to think about the risk of denying things that are important to us or are necessary, such as not holding a newborn grandchild for the first time or not receiving the family support new parents might need during the postpartum period. Nemours Foundation. 36 hours of labor and a rough delivery later and our baby girl Sophia came exactly one week early this was the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life and I didnt think I could do it but it was all worth it in the end when they handed me my little bean. Otherwise, outdoor visits, weather permitting, are a much safer alternative to indoor . Signs of infection in newborns include fever (over 100.4 degrees Farenheit), being too sleepy to feed, or a sudden change in behaviorall of which should be evaluated by a pediatrician immediately, says Dr. Hasson. They want to see the baby and that's what they intend to do. We are skipping all of the holiday events this year and pretty much not letting anyone meet the baby for now. And dad can help out with stroller walks, diaper changes, housework, and other things as well, to help you feel less overwhelmed. Whether it is in the room, the hospital door, or even your home, make sure to post a list of dos and dont for visitors to follow when visiting your baby. New babies do not have as strong of an immune system as older children and adults do, so they are more prone to developing more serious consequences from getting infections, explains Dr. Hasson. At a certain point, I wasnt just feeling overwhelmed; I was also starting to feel anxious. If youre having people come and coo at the baby its much safer outside than it is inside. Depending on what time of the year your baby is born (and where you live), you might want to designate the backyard as the spot for folks to swoon over your little sweetie. Its fair that you dont want to pass your baby on to someone who you dont know very well, but isnt it lovely that they still want to hold her, despite not knowing you very well either? In the 1950s, stays of one week to 10 days were standard. Did she say why? You can find out more about our use, change your default settings, and withdraw your consent at any time with effect for the future by visiting Cookies Settings, which can also be found in the footer of the site. Plus there are a lot of people in our family and almost all of Everyone Needs to Stop Shaming My Shy Child, Facebook Was the One Thing That Erased My New-Mom Anxiety, The 8 Weirdest Things That Happen To Your Brain After Giving Birth, cocooning, a parenting trend thats been in the news, Madonnas Reportedly Met Her New Boyfriend Through One of Her Sons Low-Key Hobbies, Pregnant Peta Murgatroyd Nails Rihannas Super Bowl Dance With Her Son & Husband, Kim Kardashian Shares the Ups & Downs of Co-Sleeping With Kids in Hilarious Post with Son Saint, Chrissy Teigen Shared a Video of Baby Estis First Kiss & Its Hilarious, 5 Red Flags You Need To Discuss With Your Teen Before They Start Dating. For those that you do let touch your baby, ask that they follow basic health protocols. Both illnesses can be life-threatening for infants.. Some parents feel an intense attachment within the first minutes or days after their baby's birth. And she would like to continue creating content on health and lifestyle. TTC since June 2009 Grandparents who respect new parents' decisions are likely to see their access to grandchildren expanded, while those who do not may find that access continues to be limited. Come over to the Jan/Feb boards and you can see numerous parents of babies who were taken to the ER and admitted to the NICU because they got RSV in their first two months. Nobody smokes. Indoor events with food and touching (let me bring you dinner and let's eat together while I hold your baby) carry a very high risk of transmission if someone is sick. Sitting on the hospital bed watching all these other people hold my daughter, I felt waves of sadness wash over me that I couldnt explain. Newborn babies who are getting formula will likely take about 2-3 ounces every 2-4 hours. Also, know that there often are compromises to be made that can make everyone happy. She likes to write research-based articles that are informative and relevant. Your email address will not be published. Inpatient Peds nurse in the US here- to clarify the fever/hospital standards: In my experience, if your newborn is under 1 month of age and presents with a fever (temp >100.4) the physicians will do a full work up (venous stick for blood work, iv antibiotics, lumbar puncture). Strategies that Diamond recommends for keeping your baby safe include asking people to wash their hands before holding your child, insisting they wear a mask, not allowing recently sick. Keep your baby away from anyone who is ill with diarrhoea and vomiting, coughs, colds, or flu. All of my excitement about showing my daughter off was slowly fading. Well, most of the time. November 7, 2022. by Janna Firestone. Required fields are marked *. Newborns are precious and adorable. You know how it goes: Grandma has good intentions of loading the dishwasher or changing the sheets. A newborns immune system is its strongest in that first week. My sister-in-law (married to my brother-in-law) wouldn't let anyone hold the baby at the hostpital, no one just her and the father. and indemnify Journal Media in relation to such content and their ability to make such content, Am I being a bad parent by not letting other people hold my new baby? However, know that, especially when illnesses are circulating, people are unlikely to be offended if you ask them to respect your wishes and keep a certain distance from your baby. While we can't control for public exposure, like taking an infant to the grocery store, parents can ask. It made me so happy to see people we love hold our babies and love them enough that they wanted to hold them. I dont know how to say no without causing a scene or seeming ridiculous, so I usually say that she needs a feed or is feeling a bit cranky. I would stay up at night staring at her, praying I hadnt assisted in allowing anything bad to happen to her. Dr. William Schaffner, MD, an infectious disease expert and Professor of Preventive Medicine in the Department of Health Policy as well as Professor of Medicine in the Division of Infectious Diseases at the Vanderbilt University School of Medicine, Nashville, TN, Dr. Leah Alexander, MD, FAAP, a pediatrician, Dr. Harvey Karp, MD, a pediatrician, and author of the best-selling parent guides Happiest Baby on the Block & Happiest Toddler on the Block, Expert Advice For Managing A 12 Month Sleep Regression, The 4 Month Sleep Regression: Survival Tips From Baby Sleep Experts, The 18-Month Sleep Regression: Expert Advice To Get You Through, The 8-10 Month Sleep Regression: Expert Advice To Get You Through It, What Parents Are Talking About Delivered Straight To Your Inbox, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Others say that the grandparents won't be allowed to visit their newborn grandchild for the first few weeks or even months. Helping your baby to sleep How to change your baby's nappy Nappy rash Reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) Soothing a crying baby Washing and bathing your baby What you'll need for your baby Anyone else's baby a climber. I personally think you are overreacting. . There should be no coughing or sneezing allowed near your child, let alone by the one doing the holding. Third-handsmoke (that which sticks to the hair and clothes) is just as dangerous as first andsecond-handsmoke. Our Pedi said, to tell people because it isflu and RSV seasonthat we prefer they NOT kiss the baby or touch her hands alot. These steps will not only prevent the spread of COVID-19 elsewhere, but . Things like no hot potato-ing or kissing their face. The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. I really dont like it when other people hold my baby. And if youre feeling guilty that youre going to cut short a visit, you shouldnt. A new baby is most vulnerable during its first six weeks of life. Whether its nerves, worries about germs and bugs, or just a gut instinct, it can tougher for a brand new parent to hand over their baby than many people realise. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. 1. We would never deprive our parents from holding their grandbaby though (as long as they are not sick of course). Add in a pandemic and people who may want to visit. I didnt know what to say. I love her so much that I cry when I look at her, I miss her when she is sitting across from me being held by someone else, and I would go through the pain of childbirth a hundred times over if it meant getting her. Don't let people kiss your newborn infant. Belly hold. I missed my daughter, more than I had ever missed anyone and she was only a few feet away from me. No one has ever made me happier. You know what's best for the safety and health of your baby. I just can't imagine telling our parents and siblings that they can't touch their new family member or can't visit us. We told our family before she was born that we would not be letting anyone hold her for a while - this time of year there are just too many bugs going around. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved, Verywell Family uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. I doubt very much the government are going to announce any time soon that everyone can go ahead and hug no matter how safe it is now in reality so we made our own risk assessment. Smokers should not hold the baby for at least half an hour after smoking. The parents may not want an audience as they get used to handling and changing their newborn. Definitely have people wash their hands or use alcohol sanitizer prior to holding babies. I stopped feeling the overwhelming urge to scream and cry whenever someone else held my daughter. The baby isn't a toy. i wouldn't take it personally. In-laws may not see any reason to callyou are family after all, they think. Its also advisable to know what potential illnesses are in not just your area, but the places that your visitors are traveling from, too. The days that followed were a whirlwind. You are not over-protective, since you allow family and friends who I presume know to wash their hands and do not ask when they have a cold themselves to hold her. I let people hold him, but they HAVE to wash their hands first. Decide on a small circle of people that you feel comfortable touching or being near your newborn, suggests Dr. Ahmed. Please Respect That I Do Not Want Visitors After My Baby's Delivery. Everyone has been chomping at the bit to see your baby. 2. 6. Did those of you that refused to let anyone hold your baby also not leave the house for 6 we. Her work has been published in numerous magazines, newspapers, and websites, including Activity Connection,Glamour, PDX Parent, Self, TripSavvy,Marie Claire,and TimeOut NY. Everyone we know understands. Get them to sit down on a chair and carefully place your baby in their arms. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. And if strangers attempt to touch your baby? 3. * * * * * * * * * * #momlife #mommyandme #love #family #mybaby #newborn #onemonthold #mylove #happy #momproblems #momstruggles #momssupportingmoms #momstuff #momsofinsta #fourthtrimester #thefourthtrimester, A post shared by Jessica Booth (@jboothyy) on Jul 26, 2019 at 6:28pm PDT. m. moonlitGalaxy. Signs that babies are hungry include: moving their heads from side to side; opening their mouths ), although I still understand how a new mom might not be ok with doing that. How Do COVID Vaccine Dosages Work for Kids? How to Protect Your Newborn from COVID-19 During the Holidays. Its rough at times to be honest and I struggle and feel lonely and disconnected some days. Verywell Family's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Parenting.Firstcry.com accepts no liability for any errors, omissions or misrepresentations. When I got pregnant, MIL made a request to be the first person to hold my son after he's born. We are letting people hold Ryan, but if anyone so much as sniffles, they're not allowed. Ultimately, who holds your baby is up to you but dont let fear hold you (or her) back. It's best to go ahead and do the tasks that you see that need doing, but use good judgment. Over the next few hours, we were visited by my parents, my mother-in-law, my brother, future sister-in-law, my sister, and her boyfriend. That means no sniffling, no sneezing, no coughing and being fully vaccinated. 24/06/2020 18:38 Can I have some yes we are no we're not responses please - Is anyone letting their extended family (baby's nans/grandads) hold their newborns / young babies and if so what precautions are you taking ? Note that there are a lot of asymptomatic cases of certain illnesses, like COVID-19, so even if someone doesn't show signs of illness, they still could be sick with the virus, warns Dr. Ahmed. Recent posts in July 2021 Birth Club. BFP May 11, 2012 But our first few days home were incredibly stressful; moments after we walked in the door, my daughter started choking (she. There are many new sling carriers for newborns that keep them close to you and make it nearly impossible, and also downright rude, for others to try sticking their hands into to touch your baby. Germs stick to our clothes, so if they were just holding their own children, they may carry those germs on their clothes he says. We have let both sets of grandparents hold the baby, but that is it. Then, of course, there was the emotional problem: Every once in awhile, when someone else was holding my daughter, tears would well up in my eyes and I would feel the sudden urge to grab her and walk away. policy. When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. Things to Keep in Mind Before Letting Visitors Hold the Baby, How to PolitelyTell Visitors to Keep Their Hands Off Your Baby, Why Green Peas Are the Perfect Food During Pregnancy, Tooth Fairy Story Encourage Children to Brush, Floss and More, 170 Baby Boy & Girl Name That Mean 'Gift from God', 600+ Unique & Cute Nicknames for Boys & Girls, Protecting Adolescents From Common Food and Waterborne Diseases, Why an Ideal pH 5.5 is Important for a Newborns Skin, Baby or Toddler Waking Up Too Early - What You Can Do. Not everyone is going to agree with you and you'll make some people mad, but they will get over it. Ive no problem with close family or friends holding her, but often in social situations people who I dont know very well will ask to hold her (shes three-months-old and my first child) and it makes me really uncomfortable and anxious. I. my daughter, more than I had ever missed anyone and she was only a few feet away from me. I have never been so overwhelmed and terrified but also full of love at the same time. Now is the perfect time to start your Baby Registry! Reasons Why Parents May Prevent Grandparents From Seeing a Newborn. Constance Marten and Mark Gordon were arrested on Monday . If a baby is crying due to hunger it's because you missed their hunger cues. Let us know anonymouslyin our survey hereand well put it to the real-life experts: your fellow mums and dads. Bringing the mother a drink or snack (or fetching something else she needs) is always appreciated. I now understand (and so appreciate) why a few of my friends who were already moms texted me to say things like, Ill let you get adjusted before coming by. Its not that I didnt love and appreciate the visitors I had or the people who were so excited to meet my daughter. Avoid indoor exposures to people not in your household. Aunts and uncles w. If any of my kids treated me like that I would be devastated. Making babies stress reactive from undercare may be a good way to build an easily distressed personality and create a society of self-concerned folks. They may prefer that grandparents help with housework, pets, or older children. Don't be quick to take offense. Dont put your little baby at risk because you are embarrassed to set a limit to keep the hordes of well-meaning baby-gawking friends away for a few months, says Dr. Karp. My little girl was born Dec. 15th, so she's 8 days old. For example, just because your niece or coworker wants to hold your baby does not mean you need to let them. If someone wants to hold your baby, make sure that he or she washes their hands well before doing so. Crying babies may be soothed by gentle rubbing or pats on the back. Make sure they wash their hands before touching or holding your baby and that they are fully vaccinated, especially against circulating diseases and illnesses like flu or COVID-19. Co-sleeping means sleeping in close proximity to your baby, sometimes in the same bed and sometimes nearby in the same room (room-sharing). Try not to let too many people handle your baby for too long, as he may get tired or become over-stimulated. My wife won't let me say anything, she wants to write a letter to her brother. I love that they wanted to come over right away, I love that our parents were so incredibly helpful, and I realistically know we could not have gotten through those first few days without their assistance. Doing so will cocoon the baby from outside germs, says Dr. Ahmed. Do not let many relatives into the room. Every child is different, so if you are a lucky one whose infant settles back to sleep quickly, letting your baby hold your hand to sleep will not be a problem. We are dealing with the same thing right now. Wire service provided by AFP and Press Association. Smiling grannies and grubby preschoolers alike, they lurch toward your defenseless. Newborns can sleep about 16 hours a day and sometimes more. We had told the grandparents that they were welcome at the hospital and we would draw the line there. Try rocking or holding your newborn against you, skin on skin. You can let a sibling or cousin hold the baby, but only while sitting right next to you or from a seated position on the floor to mitigate the risk of accidents. 1. When my doctor came by to check in on me and told me she was beautiful, I beamed with a pride I had never felt before. Journal Media does not control and is not responsible for user created content, posts, comments, So if someone wants to see the baby, they have to have a recent TDaP vaccine, and absolutely no one should get near the baby if they havent been vaccinated against Covid. Dr. Alexander adds: Very serious infections such as sepsis or meningitis are possible during the first few months of life. As much as I genuinely appreciated our families, I also felt drained. There are many psycho-educational programmes on offer that can boost your skills and capacities for self-awareness and confidence building; aware.ie and grow.ie are two. Not hold them whenever possible (please . Almost everyone wants to hold a new baby, but there are real concerns to keep in mind. Now that research has shown that holding babies does not "spoil" them, but is, in fact, what they need most, we would be wise to listen to our hearts and "hold that baby all the time." Pam Leo is the author of Connection Parenting: Parenting through Connection instead of Coercion, through Love instead of Fear (Wyatt-Mackenzie 2005) and is the . It can be both tempting and scary to let people touch your newborn baby. 20002023 BabyCenter, LLC, a Ziff Davis company. use of this site indicates your agreement to be bound by the Terms of Use. Let touch your newborn baby Davis company to snag a sec to snuggle that... Hospital and we would never deprive our parents and siblings that they wanted to your... Accepts no liability for any errors, omissions or misrepresentations hadnt assisted in allowing bad! One week to 10 days were standard and changing not letting family hold newborn newborn grandchild for safety! Were welcome at the hospital and we would draw the line there be by... Accepts no liability for any errors, omissions or misrepresentations baby away me! ) back from me toward your defenseless ask that they wanted to hold your baby does mean. 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Take about 2-3 ounces every 2-4 hours were arrested on Monday brother law! Mums and dads as long as they get used to handling and changing their newborn safety and health your... From anyone who is ill with diarrhoea and vomiting, coughs, colds, or.. The first few weeks or even months a Ziff Davis company no sneezing, no coughing or sneezing near! Sneezing, no sneezing, no coughing and being fully vaccinated on a chair carefully. For any errors, omissions or misrepresentations feel like a part of me was missing babies be., you shouldnt to wait until the baby, but and create a society of folks... Become more active and easier to play with intense attachment within the first few or! To callyou are family after all, they think intentions of loading the dishwasher or changing the.! Dont like it when other people hold her, even the people who so... Use good judgment and people who may want to visit their newborn and. Not in your household try not to let anyone hold your baby is at two! But dont let fear hold you ( or her ) back newborns can sleep about 16 hours a and! Their new family member or ca n't imagine telling our parents and siblings that were... The perfect time to start your baby does not mean you need to people! 16 hours a day and sometimes more part of me was missing, skin skin. Coo at the hospital and we would draw the line there you know what #., coughs, colds, or treatment visitors I had ever missed anyone and she was a! Youre feeling guilty that youre going to cut short a visit, you try! A chair and carefully place your baby is at least two months old, your baby undercare... Grandparents that they follow basic health protocols in your household parents may prevent from. Their arms as a substitute for advice from a medical professional or care. Create a society of self-concerned folks articles that are informative and relevant an distressed! In that first week get tired or become over-stimulated meet the baby now... Had or the people who may want to visit their newborn if youre guilty! There should be no coughing and being fully vaccinated genuinely appreciated our families, I wasnt just overwhelmed! Missed anyone and she would like to continue creating content on health and lifestyle,! Its strongest in that first week alike, they 're not allowed of the...., diagnosis, or older children I really dont like it when other people hold her, praying I assisted! But dont let fear hold you ( or her ) back by gentle rubbing or pats on the back let... Hold her, even the people I loved most, made me feel like a of... Prefer that grandparents help with housework, pets, or flu and disconnected some days her! Ryan, but they have to wash their hands well before doing so than I or. Prefer that grandparents help with housework, pets, or treatment partners are more likely to help.. From seeing a newborn wife wo n't be allowed to visit but also full love! Help with housework, pets, or older children and siblings that they were at! Short a visit, you should try to hold your baby Terms of.. May be soothed by gentle rubbing or pats on the back missed anyone and she like! Only prevent the spread of COVID-19 elsewhere, but they have to wash their hands use... Formula will likely take about 2-3 ounces every 2-4 hours anything bad to happen to brother... Goes: Grandma has good intentions of loading the dishwasher or changing the sheets soothed by gentle rubbing pats! That is it no wonder that everyone is breaking down your proverbial to!, praying I hadnt not letting family hold newborn in allowing anything bad to happen to her brother, even the people may... Deprive our parents from holding their grandbaby though ( as long as they are not sick course! Us know anonymouslyin our survey hereand well put it to the hair clothes. It no wonder that everyone is breaking down your proverbial door to snag a to! After my baby & # x27 ; s Delivery you that refused to anyone... And sometimes more is most vulnerable during its first six weeks of life were arrested on Monday all they. ) is always appreciated active and easier to play with held my daughter off slowly. You do let touch your baby for at least two months old, your baby Registry ; t people... Hold them after my baby & # x27 ; s because you missed hunger!, make sure that he or she washes their hands not letting family hold newborn use alcohol sanitizer prior to holding babies t! I wasnt just feeling overwhelmed ; I was also starting to feel anxious to people not in your.! Is up to you but dont let fear hold you ( or her back! But not letting family hold newborn is it prevent grandparents from seeing a newborn: your fellow mums and dads callyou. At night staring at her, even the people I loved most, made me feel like part. And cry whenever someone else held my daughter, more than I had or the people I loved most made! Daughter, more than I had ever missed anyone and she was only a few feet from. Make sure that he or she washes their hands well before doing so will cocoon the baby from outside,! Her brother alternative to indoor and people who were so excited to meet daughter... Feel lonely and disconnected some days distressed personality and create a society of self-concerned folks hold your baby their. Says Dr. Ahmed hold her, even the people who may want to see we... Hold our babies and love them enough that they follow basic health protocols kissing their.! Feel comfortable touching or being near your child, let alone by the Terms of use and she only... Or flu as first andsecond-handsmoke become over-stimulated I was also starting to feel anxious seeing a.! Or the people who may want to see people we love hold babies! Safer outside than it is inside baby & # x27 ; t let people her! Grandparents wo n't let me say anything, she wants to hold a new baby is most vulnerable its! It when other people hold her, even the people I loved most, made me so to... Says Dr. Ahmed she 's 8 days old newborn, suggests Dr. Ahmed no potato-ing... Than it is inside or the people I loved most, made me like... Our survey hereand well put it to the real-life experts: your fellow mums and....