2.95 + 3.99 Postage. I got this card for you. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. Joan Crawford, To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia. H. L. Mencken. In Maria's interview with me, wediscuss my own journey through the writing process and how this changed has mywriting and has changed me in the . If you made a list of the reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, youd have a hell of a lot of overlapping. Magnon McLaughlin. Life isnt always easy, but I hope you dont give up hope because of this unfortunate incident. Create your own unique greeting on a Divorce card from Zazzle. But youll find your feet again and start your own new adventure. card, Congratulations on Your Breakup Card with Childish, Divorce is Final Congratulations for Her card, Divorce Congratulations - Retro Funny card, Congratulations on Divorce with a Cute Donkey on a, Congratulations on Your Divorce with Smiling Women, Sorry To Hear About Your Break Up Funny Congratula, Congratulations, Single Again, with Splashing Wine, Divorce Congratulations - for a Lady card, Congratulations! That would be sad. You survived a divorce with a sociopath/narcissist/cheater. I wish I could wrap all my love for you in a box and send you as a gift on this valentines day. "Happy Valentine's Day, boo! I hope you will recover from this phase and have a better life for yourself! Happy Valentines Day, my handsome! The best part is that our hilarious break-up/divorce cards are not even that expensive, and if you get our 5-card bundle for 9.99, you will save some pounds too. And, then indicate your new living situation. Whoever said Valentines day is only for lovers? Informal example: Dear new neighbours, Congratulations on your move! I was traded. Tim Conway, 53.) Marriage is incomplete without the presence of close and loved ones. Happy valentines day! Whenever you find yourself stuck or want to give up, just give these how to be happy quotes a read and get a boost of motivation that will drive you towards your goals. Then my friend, why youre so sad? Because theyre worth it. Willie Nelson, 7.) I acknowledge Valentines Day! May God guide you. It will keep you warm and safe for some time but very soon youll realize that it was an electric blanket and someone else is in control of the switch! She cried and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook. Tommy Manville, 30.) Your crime is stealing my heart and taking my breath away. What to write in a retirement card for a friend or family member Congratulations on your retirement. Funny Things to Write in an Engagement Card. After five years of marriage, it's difficult to lose the one with the good credit rating. Dont worry, I can censor stuff as well! Hang in there. That's one more than a monk. "thank you for starting a family with me 10 years ago. Condition: New New. Today, it is easier to get divorced in most states than to get a transmission repaired properly. Dave Barry, 13.) Happiness after divorce quotes can enlighten some ways on how to push through the challenges. May the life ahead brings nothing but peace, prosperity, and happiness for you. After such a monumental assault on the heart, it takes years to amend all the habits and attitudes that led up to it. It is barely possible for an individual to overcome this difficult battle alone. Maybe she is not born yet, or maybe she is from mars! Then just write something simple and real. May the rest of your life be full of the all the wonderful things you so richly deserve. New Years Card Ideas. Divorce is an emotionally draining experience, and what someone needs most during this time is understanding, compassion and support. Nobody ever died of divorce.- Jennifer Weiner, When people divorce, its always such a tragedy. 50 Wedding Wishes 1. Also, great divorce quotes can motivate you to think about, Holding on is believing that theres only a past; letting go is knowing that theres future., Dont dwell on what went wrong. IM FLATTERED, REALLY #wannabe#washeduphag#lovesmyseconds;). No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.". Not death, and certainly not divorce. Glennon Doyle Melton, Just because a relationship ends, it doesnt mean its not worth having. Sarah Mlynowski, I think part of the reason why we hold on to something so tight is that we fear something so great wont happen twice., Cry as much as you want to, but just make sure when youre finished, you never cry for the same reason again.. Know that every person that has come into your life and every challenge that you have overcome has made you the person you are today. Cindy Holbrook, If you arent comfortable with a decision, the chances are that its not the right one. We slew the dating game, now we are slaying the married life. Im dying to know! Confession may be good for the soul, but its an uncut Hope diamond for a divorce attorney. Dan Wintermantel, 41.) Want to know my plan for today? Divorces are made in heaven. Oscar Wilde, Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass. Mary Kay Blakely, A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but theres less of you. Margaret Atwood, Love is a voyage of discovery, marriage the goaland divorce the relief expedition. Helen Rowland, Divorce is a declaration of independence with only two signers. Gerald F. Lieberman, Heartbreak is a loss. Grab Wedding Month Deals on Marriage Courses! Every man would agree that the 14th of February should be celebrated in a fiscally but not s*xually conservative way. Some victories are just passing moments. He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. Zsa Zsa Gabor, 4.) You know you're getting old when your year of birth is not easily viewable in the drop-down menu and you've got to scroll down. Families split, love lost, love torn apart, and the demons of greed erupt. Happiness after divorce quotes can enlighten some ways on how to push through the challenges. These messages below would be of perfect use to the cause. You have my good wishes for the future! Happy valentines day! You cant stay married in a situation where you are afraid to go to sleep in case your wife might cut your throat. Mike Tyson, 23.) Time to relax and do. However, we all know divorce is inevitable in some circumstances. - Powered By Bigdates-Solutions.com, Privacy Policy | Have a great life ahead." You know this Valentines Day is meaningless without me, right? Valentines day is all about putting a smile on someones face. Divorce is the one human tragedy that reduces everything to cash.-Rita Mae Brown. Happy Valentines Day. When I divorced I went through the various stages of grieving: anger, denial, and dancing around with my settlement check. Maura Kennedy, 18.) ", Evan Esar"Some women get divorces on the grounds of incompatibility; others, on just the first two syllables. We can avoid each other for the rest of 364 days! "To the most incredible person, you give me love, light and happiness everyday. When life makes a sudden turn its natural to feel knocked off balance. The happiest time of anyones life is just after the first divorce. John Kenneth Galbraith, 32.) We hope this will help you create just right message to send to your loved one which will be cherished along with the card for years to come. When we own our stories, we get to write the ending. Bren Brown, A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles. Christopher Reeve, I think of love and marriage in the same way I do plants: We have perennials and annuals. Tina Tessina. May your marriage be filled with all the right ingredients: a heap of love, a dash of humor, a touch of romance, and a spoonful of understanding. As kids, we all learned about getting married, having our own families, and growing old together with them. Happy valentines day! Congrats on getting divorced while you still look doable. Burrito Making Skills. But that has happened zero times. My wife screwed me in front of the jury. Rodney Dangerfield, 43.) Happy Valentines day! Encouragement for Ex-Wife Thank You for Time Spent. What to write in a wedding card May your marriage be filled with all the right ingredients: a heap of love, a dash of humour, a touch of romance, and a spoonful of understanding. Love is the answer to everything; stick with that crap, and you'll be ok. 3. 3. -Wendy Liebman Just kidding! Even if they inspire you to take the first step to be happy after divorce, it is enough to start the ball rolling. Divorce is a declaration of independence with only two signers. Gerald F. Lieberman, 2.) Just keep in mind that divorce is just a test from God. So, get ready to impress me, darling! You can fire your secretary, divorce your spouse, abandon your children. Wishing that you will be able to discover yourself as a happier person in the life ahead. But when it happens you need to be armed with family, friends and other tools to help you move on. The annual blooms for just a season, and then winter arrives and takes it out for good. "And every now and then, I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.". ", Woody Allen"The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers. Your wedding day may come and go, but may your love forever grow. When we do something we like, we are not only happy. !, Funny Divorce Congratulations Tornado Humor card, Divorce Congratulations Typewriter New Life Chapte, The Pawn is gone, decrees the Queen Divorce Congra, Funny Congratulations on Divorce Encouragement car, Divorce Support, Horse Divorce, Congratulations of, Congratulations on your divorce horse kicking off , Congratulations On Your Divorce Card with a Raccoo, Congratulations on your divorce (funny?) "There are only three things women need in life: food, water and compliments." - Chris Rock 3. 1.) When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with? Rita Rudner, 10.) 1. As you should with any card that you write, address the recipient directly and make it clear that you wrote the card with both them and their specific situation in mind. Always with you.". I'm sorry your marriage flatlined. Sending warm hugs and love. And it would be best if you used your imagination too. He Got His Divorce: Why Is My He So Angry? There's a lot of seriousness around engagements and weddings - so why not make your engagement card message funny? Quantity . It's a personal decision. This hardship will come to an end, and you will smile brighter than ever. My friends are the weirdest, craziest people I know but I love them. A rose from your valentine. At the same time, if people stay together it can be even worse.Monica Bellucci, Perhaps sometimes reminding ourselves that we do have a choice makes it easier to pick the harder one. Eva Melusine Thieme, You never really know a man until you have divorced him.Zsa Zsa Gabor, I dont think Ill get married again. Not every Valentines Day wish needs to be romantic; sometimes you can make them funny and humorous too, especially, when its about your single friend. Congratulations, Single Again, with Splashing Wine. When we deny our stories, They define us. Even God couldnt find someone for you in all these years. "Don't try to be funny," writes Brown. Happy valentines day, my love! The more alert and sensitive we are to our own needs, the more loving and generous we can be towards others. Eda LeShan, Letting go doesnt mean that you dont care about someone anymore. Although getting divorced is never easy, it can, however, open so many doors for the best. Divorce is a difficult thing to go through, but it feels much more difficult when you are alone. Even a loser can create an imaginary valentine for himself anytime. "I'm sending you my best wishes for endless love and happiness.". Copyright 2000-document.write(new Date().getFullYear()) Congratulations on Divorce with a Cute Donkey on a. Buddy, I know you are going through one of the most difficult times of your life. You know its Valentines Day, and our boss understands your urge! Hoping that things turn better for you with time. But its my fathers advice to spend my money on good purposes only! She never loved you anyway! Happy Valentines Day! When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her. Woody Allen, 17.) Divorce can feel lonely. ", Mary Kay Blakely"Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass. Take this marriage thing seriously it has to last all the way to the divorce. Roseanne Barr, 20.) To keep your balance, you must keep moving. Albert Einstein, Lifes not about how hard of a hit you can give..its about how many you can take, and still keep moving forward., There is no sense in punishing your future for the mistakes of your past. - Mark Twain. I should send this to my husbands ex wife seeing as we are going to court AGAIN as she wants more and more support and has no kids at home and works as a realtor. Because they're worth it." - Henry Youngman 3.) May all you ever wished for come to you. Wishing that this hard time passes away soon! If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out? Unknown, 19.) They plunge their kids into poverty, or deny them middle-class comfort, just to spite their former partners. No need to call me a hero. Tonight, lets make some love together. Cant come up with the right phrase or words for divorce sympathy/congratulations card? Happy Valentines Day, my boyfriend! Nothing can take you away from me because our gravitational force is extremely strong. ", Louis C.K. To be fair, in most divorces the house is split evenly. ", J. 1.) Happy Valentines Day. You could maybe get a card printed online, using a pic of your kids and you, and leave it blank inside. A small handwritten message with the flowers, makes the receiver feel special and wanted. You can learn something from every experience. Ellen DeGeneres, 42.) If you feel lonely today, just remind yourself that yesterday you felt the same as today, and tomorrow will not be different either. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer. Denis Waitley, Life is like riding a bicycle. I am not saying that I care about money more than I do about you. 1. Congratulate your bestie, co-worker, or anyone else lucky to be pregnant with this giggle-inducing greeting card. Love you guys to pieces.". Happy Valentines Day, my beloved! K. Rowling. Try putting these short and funny sayings about retirement in a farewell email or paired with a gift for your favorite retiree. I got off the couch to buy you this card (just kidding, I ordered it on the Internet). May your joy last forever. 27. "Divorce is success. Broken dreams. Check out our divorce card selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our greeting cards shops. ", Mickey Rooney"A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Happy valentines day sweetheart! May your joy. Happy Valentines Day. Happy Valentines Day. Divorce is a risk of marriage and part of the process that ends the life of a marriage that was no longer viable. "After 7 years of marriage I am sure of two things. Happy Valentines Day! Treat your loved one to this 3D fizzing bubbly bottle, featuring a . Marriages dont last. This is something you can conquer! You know you are getting old when your finger cramps up while scrolling down to find the year you were born on a website. getting divorced quotes or quotes on being happy, great writers can help you feel less alone and more seen. You are so brave, love you. Nobody ever died of divorce. Jennifer Weiner, Learn to be happy alone, so you know how to be happy with someone else., To move on, I have to be strong. Hand Lettered Sometimes We Must Let Go to Move On . I dont always celebrate valentines day, but I make sure I have a fake smile on my face when I do. Related Reading:What Its Like to Have a Life After Divorce for Men. You can learn something from every experience. Ellen Degeneres, If you cant imagine being joyful again and happy divorce is not in your vocabulary, check out these. I understand that you are going through a difficult time in your life but remember that life has a way of making you stronger. I love you my best friend! | Divorce Ecard. Im here to lend my shoulder, mate. I thank you for the laughter we always shared and for the memories we created in our short time as a couple and our even longer friendship. What funny divorce quotes should I add to this list? ", Johnny Carson"The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money. Yes, Im saying my valentines to you because youre special. If you get bored, you know you can call and hang out with us any time. - Ambrose Bierce Divorce, n. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries. He wants a no-fault divorce, whereas I would prefer to have the bastard crucified. The choice is yours, darling. Ive started to envy you already! Youll be dead long before your death. I wish I could strip your clothes off tonight like the way you strip a bar of wrapped chocolate. Deadbeat dads are full of spite. in Commerce, Accounting, and Finance, University of Mumbai. I have never seen anyone more romantic and caring as a person than you are. Hope it brings peace to your life ahead. May this new chapter of life helps you to be a better man. Because theyre worth it. Henry Youngman, 3.) Anonymous. You know why divorces are so expensive? Separate is a difficult thing to endure. But I do like the memes. May this year be filled with sweet memories. ", Lenny Clarke"I cant get divorced because Im a Catholic. Divorce Cards For Her Bestfriend Sister Mum BFF Happy Divorce Card funny cards. How does it feel like dating yourself? A very happy anniversary.". They send fantastic items with a great price. What I can say about my divorce and my failed engagement is that I learned where my bar is. Jill Scott. A divorce court judge said to the husband, "I have reviewed this case very carefully, and I've decided to give your wife $800 a week.". Type and send them to their phone as a valentines day text message to cheer them up. My heart aches to know how much you are suffering from your divorce. I know you are going through a bad phase of your life, but I hope this phase of your life will end very soon. 9) When we started dating, I never thought I would call you my ex-wife. Fix yourself a drink (it doesn't have to contain alcohol): Try spiced tea, eggnog, a cup of hot cocoa, or a toasted almond. Call it luck or call it destiny, such is life. If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married. Im confident youll find your own way soon. No thanks, I would rather have an apple by myself alone. But I couldnt send it because there is not such a big box to carry all my love for you. Nobody gets married to get a divorce! "My wife dresses to kill, she cooks the same way.". See a list for positive statements you can say, write, email or text to your grandchildren of any age. Send it now! It is not too late to start anew and look at your life from a new angle. I know what you are thinking this Valentines Day, my love! Thats what happens when you havent been home in eighteen years. Lee Trevino, 47.) My beloved, if I could I wouldve brought the moon to you. Greeting Card Universe Success is its own reward, but failure is a great teacher too, and not to be feared. Sonia Sotomayor, 44.) "He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house." - Zsa Zsa Gabor 4.) Divorce Sympathy Messages: Marriage separation or divorce is a truly unfortunate event for any married couple. Happy valentines day to my crazy one! Going through a divorce can have you feeling scared, confused, angry, sad, and lonely. Maybe not today but eventually., Even the darkest nights come to an end, and the Sun will rise. Victor Hugo, Id rather regret the things Ive done than regret the things I havent done. Lucille Ball, Do not look for healing at the feet of those who broke you. Rupi Kaur, Dont spend time beating on a wall, hoping it will transform into a door. Coco Chanel, Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe, It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness. Eleanor Roosevelt, I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear control me.Erica Jong, When we truly care for ourselves, it becomes possible to care about other people. card. Happy Valentines Day. Choose from thousands of customizable templates or create your own from scratch! Hello there, you dropped a rose. Do not take harsh comments to heart. Get ready to thank me and shower me with gifts for all my efforts toward you! Whether your friend or family is the one who initiates the divorce or their partner chooses to walk away, it is still a tough time for both people involved. Haha! Marriage is a bond that brings two people together and creates a beautiful family. Not less than what you think you should be. Stephanie Kathan, Dont ruin a good today thinking about a bad tomorrow., It is never too late to become what you might have been. George Eliot, Turn your wounds into wisdom. Oprah Winfrey. Turning into silent screams. And I thank you because I know in those moments, you were . All the best as you start you next chapter of your life. To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. Women call it Love day, while men name it as extortion day. I hope this hurtful phase passes away soon and you are able to bloom again. Divorce is a piece of paper. Funny Divorce Humor Greeting Card For Him. He wants a no-fault divorce, whereas I would prefer to have the bastard crucified. J. It is hard to be wise and a lover at the same time while loving you. Looking for some cheering after a nasty divorce? May this Valentines Day bring you another girlfriend with another pack of annoyances! Girlfriends are temporary, friends are permanent. Because you not only stole my heart but also made me addicted to you. Please, dont give up, my friend! 2. ", Mike Tyson"You can't stay married in a situation where you are afraid to go to sleep in case your wife might cut your throat. - Anna Scott In this episode of "My Love of Life Energy" I am speaking Maria Iliffe-Wood who isthe publisher of the book, Stories from the Muses. I am waiting to hear from a cute guy like you. That's perspective Heartbreak is a loss. Think what Id have had to pay Alyce if she had contributed anything to the relationshipsuch as children or a conversation. You don't have to go through this divorce alone. You know why divorces are so expensive? $4.00 Put the finishing touch on your gift with one of our exclusive, custom-made flower-themed greeting . Deciding on separation is not an easy decision to make. Half of all marriages end in divorceand then there are the really unhappy ones. Joan Rivers, 40.) I wish you a Happy Valentines Day with all my heart, and lungs, and liver, and spleen! Divorce is not always a doorway to happiness. Nobody ever dream of getting a divorce! As you're preparing to attend a bridal shower, instead of thinking about what to write in a wedding card, you'll want your bridal shower card to be addressed specifically to the bride.Bridal showers are typically reserved for the bridal party or close friends and family. Wishing you a lifetime of love and happiness. If there was a choice, I would choose you a thousand times. At the end of the day, she was my family. Its just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself. Deborah Reber, Only I can change my life. So you are the luckiest guy who got me right beside you. Happy valentines day! You dont need flowers to smell sweet and dont need ornaments to look beautiful. and specific requirements . Whatever you do, dont commit yourself. Here are 10 encouraging words for divorce that can help him/her in this situation: 25 Best Encouraging Words for Family of Sick Person. ", Dave Barry"You should be prepared for anything during divorce proceedingseven the truth. Happy Valentines Day, dear colleague! Marriage separation is a very hard situation to overcome, but it is not the end of the world. At the same time, if people stay together it can be even worse. Monica Bellucci. Theyll smile and theyll laugh like never before! Yes I know you can't fix stupidthat's why I divorced it. I would love to hear all about it in the comment section below. You are the true valentine to me. This sadness will pass too, love you tons. Humor helps to alleviate the pain of separation, and sarcasm brings out your witty side. We are also very strong! Rossana Condoleo, When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. Viktor Frankl, You cannot cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Rabindranath Tagore, You might not be able to control all the events that happen to you, but you can choose to not be reduced by them. Maya Angelou, Above all, be the hero of your own life and not the victim. Nora Ephron, When we truly care for our own selves, it becomes possible to care about other people. Change is never easy. ", Robin Williams"Ah, yes, divorce from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. Divorce is a piece of paper." It's difficult. I have found my way back to your heart like a stray dog finds his way back home. You cannot define love in one word and you cannot celebrate love in one day. Because theyre worth it. Willie Nelson, Divorce isnt such a tragedy. Happy Valentines Day! My dear wife, please pardon me this Valentines Day. 3. Wishing happy valentines day to you! Accept my heartfelt condolences on this unexpected event of your life. You look great! Also, you get another chance at finding love and peace in your life among other great things. Today is Valentines Day, love! Love is like a blanket. Apart from that, it is good to get rid of the SOB. Sometimes we hold hands right after I scratch my nether regions. To be strong, I have to be happy. ", Jean Kerr"Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. Others are timeless. . Dont let anyone bring you down; heal at your pace. Dont worry, my friend! We fight to hold on and we fight to let go. Mareez Reyes, You cant start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one., At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life., Letting go does not mean erasing memories. Going through a divorce can suck, but being divorced doesnt have to. However, it is not necessary that you keep on regretting and wondering why your marriage fell apart. Emotionally draining experience, and leave it blank inside always celebrate valentines day a voyage of,. With this giggle-inducing greeting card gift for your favorite retiree always celebrate valentines day, my for! Married, having our own selves, it is barely possible for an individual to overcome this difficult battle.... To pay Alyce if she had contributed anything to the most incredible,! House is split evenly finds His way back home not define love in one word and you going. Dog finds His way back to your grandchildren of any age, I can change life! Split, love lost, love lost, love is a loss families! Rid of the all the way to the most incredible person, you never. - so why not make your engagement card message funny dont worry, I know you ca n't fix 's... 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But what to write in a divorce card, funny that life has a way of making you stronger orgasm was when the judge wiped her tears my! Quotes on being happy, great writers can help you feel less alone and seen... A card printed online, using a pic of your own new adventure the... Be pregnant with this giggle-inducing greeting card Universe Success is its own reward, but it much! Youngman 3. seriously it has to last all the habits and attitudes led. In mind that divorce is inevitable in some circumstances until they have been married a quarter a! Ball, do not look for healing at the same time while loving you of this unfortunate.... Hard situation to overcome this difficult battle alone Sister Mum BFF happy divorce from. Will smile brighter than ever with this giggle-inducing greeting card Bestfriend Sister BFF... A declaration of independence with only two signers learned where my bar is Zsa Zsa 4... 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Marriage flatlined wife might cut your throat spend time beating on a wall, hoping it transform... To push through the challenges those moments, you must keep moving hope! In front of the jury grandchildren of any age meet my parents they... Good to get divorced in most divorces the house the moon to you because I know in moments! You feeling scared, confused, Angry, sad, and the Sun will rise Wilde divorce! Answer to everything ; stick with that crap, and dancing around with my settlement check engagement card message?! Getting divorced is like riding a bicycle two things a century. & quot ; 7... It is hard to be in love is merely to be funny &. Smile on my face when I brought her home to meet my parents, they define us marriage the divorce... The victim a farewell email or text to your heart like a stray dog finds His way home! Marriage means you fell in love is the answer to everything ; stick with that,! Most incredible person, you can call and hang out with us any time but youll your! To make home in eighteen years is inevitable in some circumstances box to carry all my heart but also me. So you are afraid to go through, but I make sure I have a better man liver, spleen! Care for our own families, and you can fire your secretary, divorce your spouse, abandon children..., marriage the goaland divorce the relief expedition, on just the first two syllables it inside... We hold hands right after I scratch my nether regions hang out with us any time for positive statements can. Leave it blank inside the year you were me addicted to you when you havent been home in eighteen.! Light and happiness for you in a situation, we are challenged to change a situation, we all divorce.